Dear Jesus,
Thank you for your email of March 31st. I must say, I was surprised to receive this email for several reasons.
First, receiving an email from you regarding my debt was a rather alarming thing. For a second it made me think that you were suggesting that I take these TV preachers seriously. Please say it ain’t so, Jesus. I mean, they’re always whining for money and praying for their congregations to be given bonuses and such. I’ve never believed that these prayers had anything to do with you. Despite their self-appointed “middlemen” status, I don’t believe that these guys know you any more than you know them, and that their prayers are mostly about swindling money from gullible people to finance personal habits like doing copious amounts of cocaine off the bare asses of underaged, wayward boys and/or girls.
Second, I really don’t have any debt, financially speaking. But perhaps you mean karmic or spiritual debt. If it’s the latter, I’m sure I have plenty. But if you truly know my heart, then you must know that it’s a good one. I’m imperfect in many ways, it’s true. But I try to do good in this world in as many ways as I can. I've mostly found that opportunities for doing good in big, spectacular ways are pretty rare. Many times I feel like I’ve made no meaningful contribution to humanity or for the betterment of this world. I guess my rather unimpressive forte is that I try to speak a kind word or perform a small kind act for someone every day. Usually, only myself and one other person or creature are aware of my efforts, but I do hope that you notice them, and that they’ll count for something in the end.
Third, if your email was meant as kind of a friendly reminder that you’re watching me, well, that’s good! Because there are so many times when I don’t think you are. In fact, if I may speak frankly, I spend a great deal of time being pissed off at you. I struggle a lot. I ask you for help and I mostly think I’m just talking to myself because the answers never seem to come. I know you’re busy and I realize that in the scheme of things, me and my problems are insignificant. But couldn’t I maybe have just one thing, say, every five years or so? It would really mean a lot to me.
Well, anyway, it’s nice to hear from you. Sorry you got flagged as spam. I’ll make sure to “white list” you in hopes you’ll do the same for me. Please don’t be a stranger.
Thank you for your email of March 31st. I must say, I was surprised to receive this email for several reasons.
First, receiving an email from you regarding my debt was a rather alarming thing. For a second it made me think that you were suggesting that I take these TV preachers seriously. Please say it ain’t so, Jesus. I mean, they’re always whining for money and praying for their congregations to be given bonuses and such. I’ve never believed that these prayers had anything to do with you. Despite their self-appointed “middlemen” status, I don’t believe that these guys know you any more than you know them, and that their prayers are mostly about swindling money from gullible people to finance personal habits like doing copious amounts of cocaine off the bare asses of underaged, wayward boys and/or girls.
Second, I really don’t have any debt, financially speaking. But perhaps you mean karmic or spiritual debt. If it’s the latter, I’m sure I have plenty. But if you truly know my heart, then you must know that it’s a good one. I’m imperfect in many ways, it’s true. But I try to do good in this world in as many ways as I can. I've mostly found that opportunities for doing good in big, spectacular ways are pretty rare. Many times I feel like I’ve made no meaningful contribution to humanity or for the betterment of this world. I guess my rather unimpressive forte is that I try to speak a kind word or perform a small kind act for someone every day. Usually, only myself and one other person or creature are aware of my efforts, but I do hope that you notice them, and that they’ll count for something in the end.
Third, if your email was meant as kind of a friendly reminder that you’re watching me, well, that’s good! Because there are so many times when I don’t think you are. In fact, if I may speak frankly, I spend a great deal of time being pissed off at you. I struggle a lot. I ask you for help and I mostly think I’m just talking to myself because the answers never seem to come. I know you’re busy and I realize that in the scheme of things, me and my problems are insignificant. But couldn’t I maybe have just one thing, say, every five years or so? It would really mean a lot to me.
Well, anyway, it’s nice to hear from you. Sorry you got flagged as spam. I’ll make sure to “white list” you in hopes you’ll do the same for me. Please don’t be a stranger.
5 comments:
Lovely post! Must make a note of browsing my spam more carefully in the future:)
Well, I'd be thrilled to get an e-mail from Jesus. You must be doing something right.
Or very, very wrong.
At least he's checking in on you, right?
Also, how cool is it that right when I was leaving you a message, you were leaving one for me! We are connected or something.
Awww..I checked my email and still no word from the 'son of God'. Ah well, hope springs eternal, right?;)
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